sorry you are going through all of this. Just try to stay positive and visualize how nice its going to be when you are able to be with your horses. take one day at a time, and try not to stress and get plenty of rest. what i do sometimes is i'll lay down to rest my head and daydream about something that i enjoyed that recently happened, and i'll find myself chuckling then i'll start laughing because i chuckled. weird, but it sort of puts me in a different frame of mind.