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Senior Member
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,194
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,194
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I do want to try and be a bit more flexible and open about this sort of a thing – she has been so good for me, and I probably should have a lot more faith in her. But then again, she is also telling me that I am in control of the direction of therapy, and will know what is right for me and what isn’t. And I just don’t think this is right for me, not now anyway.
I don’t want to be a coward about this ... and I don’t want to let her down. And it definitely would be much more comfortable to live my life without carrying the heavy burden of so much inner pain, shame and self-loathing wherever I go. But it’s humiliating repeating the words that I’m supposed to be putting in the back of my mind right out there and to the tune of a nursery rhyme that is supposed to be child’s play. This is real, this is painful, and it’s not a game. My head hurts just thinking about it.
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Cats nap, only humans put them "to sleep". Sterilize, don't euthanize!!
BJ
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