I Have Been Trying So Hard To Hold On To My Faith And To Do At Least One Thing A Day. I Am Taking Care Of My 21 Yr Old Autistic Adopted Brother And Am Trying To Keep To His Routine.. During The Day While Terry Is At Program I Took Care Of My Precious Handicapped Adopted Brother David...he Gave Me The Strength To Get Out Of Bed And Function The Best I Could.i Also Had An Aide To Help Me As He Had Many Medical Problems..he Isn't Here Anymore. He Passed Away Oct 16,2005. I Sit Here And Still Here Him Calling Me. I Keep Going To His Room To Empty His Ileostomy Bag And Realize He Is Not There. He Was Very Ill And I Kept Him Alive For 24 Yrs. The One Time I Left Him In The Hands Of A Hospital Worker So I Could Go To The Bathroom And Get A Cup Of Tea She Hurt Him Ignoring Specific Instructions Of How To Care For Him. He Had To Have Another Surgery Due To Her Neglect And Wound Up Getting Phenomia(spelling???) This Is What Finally Was The Reason For His Death. I Blame Myself Most Of The Time For Leaving Him. Mostly Blame Her. But I Don't Even Know Her Name. Not Having Him Here To Care For Has Caused My Heart And Soul To Break,with No Hope Of Ever Healing. He Was Born On X-mas Day And My Mother (who Was My Best Friend In The World)passed Away Dec 22,1993(at The Age Of 53) I Have Been Robbed Of Many Years With My Mom And With David. Added To All My Injuries And Pain It Is Just Too Overwhelming.
I Am Trying So Hard To Keep It Together For Terry But My Tears Just Can't Stop Falling And No Amount Of Medication Can Take My Depression Of All The Losses Away..i Know Have Tried Them All, With No Effect. Sorry Went On So Long....thank You My New Friends. Thank Yoyu For Being There For Me And Trying To Give Me Hope And Strength..it Means Alot Not To Feel So Alone...moonstar