thanks guys. alas, "better" was very short-lived. this is how it's been... for the past couple months really.

i can still get intellectual at times and seem ok and distract myself a little and even be sort of ok... for a short while.

and then some nothing happens and it starts all over. i really don't feel like being in this world. i am not of this world. it crushes me. this evening and tonight i was a crying mess again.

now i mostly just feel like garbage. so much for endorphins from crying, dunno where they went. i sure didn't feel any. i feel kinda numb from overload is all... but not enough to be comfortably numb.

i hope everyone else feels better than i do coz if you don't that really sucks.

bobby i know you've been roughing it... i feel for you too.