Originally Posted by mrsD

Other people can be a problem. This is why the internet is so valuable for support.

I have been on various healthboards reading for a decade now.
Intolerance of family and friends is a very common thing.

I have found in my life many psychological reasons for this unacceptance of illness by family members.

1) All humans share a trait which is thought to be genetic (ethnobiologists think so), called xenophobia. This is fear of someone different from you. Lower animals express this, as driving out the ill member, to keep it away from the "pack" or "herd". We do it psychologically. Xenophobia is what drives racism as well. We can see this when little kids stare at people on crutches, in wheelchairs, and ask blatantly "What's wrong with you" ? When I was using a cane for a while, and was called to jury duty...I was excused from every selection for a trial. (previously I had served on a trial earlier when I had no cane). I think the cane somehow told the attorneys for the defense that I was a "problem"...it sure felt that way...as they stared at me!

2) Families can be competitive... sibling type rivalry for assests, attention, love etc. Being "ill" may make some family members think the ill person will then accrue more attention, money, etc.

3) Also people have a huge propensity for projection. That is they project their nasty traits onto others. I have worked with the public for over 40+yrs. It has been MY experience when I am called a racist (in mixed neighborhoods with tension), it is the other person who is the racist. I recall clearly one vocal person with bad manners attacking my colleague this way, and my colleague had been married to the same ethnic group as the bad mannered guy slinging the insults! Another example is when people out and out call you a LIAR, when you are telling the truth. These types I have found are really the liars! I had a neighbor do this to my son who was bitten by her dog while she was at the grocery. When he told her when she returned, what happened, she carefully explained that he should not lie about things like this. (her husband got so embarrassed, and took her in the house, and told her--as he was right there). My son was devastated by this response from her. This changed our whole neighbor relationship. I could now see where SHE came from. I could never trust her again. And another example is the cheater... it is fairly common in my job for people to empty their RX bottles and put another drug in them, bring them back and demand a refund! The most obvious one to me was a woman who put OTC FiberCon tablets in her Seldane bottle! She was irate and accused us of trying to CHEAT her...when in reality she was the cheat! (this was only one type of scam I had to endure on a daily basis).

4) Also we can't forget empathy. People who don't have this capacity cannot understand how other people feel. So they assume the person in pain is a faker. (because they fake alot themselves).

So when I hear stories about people getting accused of hypochondria, or faking their pain, I have to consider that the person delivering these comments has A PROBLEM!

For myself, I do not really discuss my problems with my son or friends. If they ask, I'll tell them a bit, but I just DON'T share. In fact I don't even share much here either..I am so used to keeping that private!
My husband understands, and that is enough for me. I think the internet is a good place to get support for problems like this.
We are lucky to have this venue with many choices where people can come together and share experiences and anxieties.
That's what I think.