Thank you for replying Lara, you are always very kind with me.
I have told my doc about this as Im not sure if this is really an illness, I mean, something that can be treated or just, my mood...

Does that make sense or Am I sounding too silly ???
You are right, I have been pretty sad and lost these past days/weeks...

I just feel lost, that's it.... It's difficult for me even to decide what I want to do or not...
And, right now, I have like a crisis, where Im afraid of doing things I like because I have fear, fear of like, I said before, that this hobbies can at the end, give me trouble and sadness....
Is like I have 2 Majos now.... One says: Paint, but the other says Dont paint, you will end feeling obsessed..... and I feel sad if I dont paint, but I also feel sad if I paint because I feel stressed...
Heck, I feel so stupid and crazy right now.... saying all this...
Thanks for the books suggestions !