Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie8
I was recently visiting family and saw a cousin I have not seen in a couple of years. She heard through the family grapevine that I got diagnosed with MS almost 2 years ago. The first thing she says to me is "so how sick are you?" and "how come you are not disabled?" "You actually look like nothing is wrong." Somehow the fact that she used the word disabled in such a negative way and proceeded to dig for personal medical info really upset me. I had no idea what to say, really. I suppose I could have given her a lesson on what MS is or tell her to butt out however I just stood there feeling stunned. I think it kind of freaked me out too since I don't really think of myself as disabled -- but will I be disabled in the future??
Well, I guess there is a first time for everything....my first MS-related encounter with a rude ignorant person.
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Here's my best advice...
Whether it's MS or
anything else you don't want to address...when someone asks me a question I don't want to answer, I do just that -
I don't answer. They usually ask a second time, at which point I may look directly at them for a couple of seconds, then go back to what I was doing. If they haven't gotten the message at that point, they will after the third time.
The point is this: why become uncomfortable? Let
them become uncomfortable, if that's what it takes. Whatever, just maintain control of how you want to feel. If you start trying to come up with a response to a question that you'd prefer to not answer, then you are giving control of
your mental state to someone else.
Never allow that to happen.
It doesn't have to be confrontational; in fact, it can even be amusing. Now, occasionally someone will take offense at your measured silence. Just keep your control and only respond if you feel like it. My final comment, all other things failing, would simply be, "I don't want to discuss it."
You're not on the witness stand - you don't
have to engage anyone if you don't want to. Your mind is your own, private space.
.