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Senior Member
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,194
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,194
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She’s really confused me because I just don’t talk about being BP, I think anyway because I don’t remember a lot. During one session I may talk about my PTSD but in another, I’ll discuss bipolar. 80% of the time I've asked questions about bipolar, but now I'm finally reaching the point where I'm able to express how I feel about my diagnosis yet I am being told to focus on other things instead. I don't understand that logic because if I can't talk about the way I feel regarding my bipolar or the past, how can I move on?
I don't think she knows me in a social setting to where she could make such a judgment. I will admit that I was emotional at the time and that's why I took it more to heart than I normally would have done but I still don't think that was the right way to phrase it. Sometimes I feel that the wounds opened up in therapy will never be healed, that the pain Is overwhelming and will never stop, and I wonder why I opened all the doors I had closed so tight. 
She really hurt my feelings last session. While it was going on everything seemed perfectly rational and I could understand where she was coming from. Once I started thinking about it after the session though, I started to feel attacked and condescended to and I cried for at least an hour and started to get scared because I have in my head that this is the start of her abandoning me when I'm going to need her the most. A lot of painful memories the next couple weeks and and I'm determined not to start the downhill slide I always do this time of year. 
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Cats nap, only humans put them "to sleep". Sterilize, don't euthanize!!
BJ
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