I wonder if I am doing the right thing...*sigh. I decided not to go see Lynn today. Part of it is that I am sick, just a cold, but I don't want to get him sick too! But the big reason is self preservation. It makes me sad, thinking of it being our anniversary today. Him being in a nursing home, not even aware it is our anniversary, I doubt at this point he even understands the concept. But I do, and I mourn the loss of all we were.

I wonder that I SHOULD be use to this by now. It has been years - an eternity it seems...since he has remembered. Most things are now lost to him, even his own children.

I wonder that I need to suck it up, stop wishing for what can't be and just be damn grateful for what I still have!! Lynn still "knows" me. He has no idea of all we have lost. He is quite happy in his own little world. If there can be a blessing in the hell of Alzheimer's... that is it.. reaching the point where he is no longer aware of what is happening to him. Is what I have always prayed for, peace for him.

OK.... *sucking it up* ... I wonder if I can leave big ((HUGS)) for the broom/room