Earlier I used the term "wanting it both ways", which was a poor choice of words. I don't want ANY of this stuff, but it is what it is.

Sometimes I think there's a lesion on my "response" nerve, and I never know more than a split second ahead how anything is going to affect me.

Kicker, my husband rarely gets it right either, though God knows he tries. If he says something sympathetic, I feel as though he's being condescending or giving me up for dead, and then I cry.

If he says something he perceives to be encouraging, I feel as though he's minimizing my situation or not taking me seriously, and then I cry.

And if he doesn't say ANYTHING, I wonder why he isn't saying anything, and then I cry.

This isn't all the time, of course, but just when this stupid disease is playing mean tricks on my sensitivity and emotions.