Hi Manda, and welcome to our family... I'm sorry that you are facing such difficulties, but, happy that you have found us and are reaching out for help. That is a GOOD thing. And, yes, you need to keep doing it, even if those around you don't know quite how to respond.

There is always hope, things always change. Sometimes, painfully slowly. I too, believe, that we need to find some self-confidence in ourselves to be really happy in life. We need to have a dream and a reason to go on. Sometimes, these things are hard to see, especially when depression clouds our view of the world around us.

There are times when we need help to deal with it. I hope you will find that help. Keep reading and reaching. I have fought suicidal thoughts most of my life, and am happy that I am still here. There will always be those valleys to deal with, but, everytime you find a way to overcome, you will be stronger the next time. Life is worth living even when you have to find ways to deal with depression. It can, actually, in time, add meaning to life.

Give yourself some time to search out ways that will work for you. You can do it. I know you can. You have a future that can be happy and fulfilling. Baby steps. Find anything small at all that will give you a reason to smile and to live.