I'm not having a pity party, just feeling kind of pensive. I can't remember the last time I felt good. Five years? More?

Somehow it's gotten to the point where a "good" day doesn't mean what it used to...back when nothing hurt, everything worked, there was no foggy film over my brain...back when I could go all day without thinking about how near the bathroom was, what I dared to eat, if a symptom was getting worse or not. When I wasn't circling the drain by mid- to late afternoon.

I can't remember how it felt when good didn't mean "not too lousy". When "fine, thank you" didn't mean "no worse". I should stop thinking and go to bed.