We may move on and have productive lives but...
Part of us is broken and unrepairable. It changes you when some one you love takes their own life. It pushes families apart it makes old friends avoid each other. If you are the type of person who can talk about it, it changes the way people look at you. Once people know they see you differently whether it is with pity, or the thoughts of "how could you not know?". because they have never known some one close they don't believe that if you really loved them you could miss the signs, they don't know any better. They don't think it because they are mean they just don't know.

Even those of us who seem to have moved on harbor our "darkness" only to be moored when we can no longer push it down, it rears its head when we least expect it. When we think we've moved on and laid it to rest and then... we see a movie that we think "Sam would love to see that" and then it hits us , he never will. Not by some cruel accident or some horrible disease but because he saw nothing worth staying here for...

It is not a life I would wish others to have to lead. To push the feelings down so as not to make others uncomfortable ( because we all do that), to avoid talking about some one we love because it is too painful not just for us but for the others who lost them also, the unspoken thoughts of how could we all have missed it? And we slowly spend less time together because it seems easier. Even though we wish we had some one to share our good memories with, but it is to hard to share the good with out remembering the tragic ending, so we drift apart.

We have broken and cannot be repaired, but yes we move on with our lives, we find was to be productive people because for us there is no other choice...