i'm sorry.
i'm trying.
it's not working.
i'm not strong enough.
i don't want to talk to anyone i know. i'm cancelling my cell phone. i can't take people right now. cursed faces. cracked smiles.

"I jumped in the river and what did I see?
Black-eyed angels swam with me
A moon full of stars and astral cars
All the things I used to see
All my lovers were there with me
All my past and futures
And we all went to heaven in a little row boat
There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt"