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Old 06-12-2009, 02:43 PM
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Dejibo Dejibo is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 7,332
15 yr Member
Dejibo Dejibo is offline
Elder
Dejibo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 7,332
15 yr Member
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sorry to be tardy to the party.

yes, there were times when my anxiety got to be intense, and he needed a break, and then it was MY turn to be patient, kind and supportive, even at the point of biting through my own exhaustion and anxiety to give back to the one who had given me so much. I found it helps during those times to find other things to do. Volunteer. Sing, do a hobby, go on a walk. go to church. Take a weekend and go camping. Visit family. hide away in a spare bedroom and make it a reading nook. Catch up on corrospondance with friends and family that I miss. journal and so on. Allow him space, and room to refill his own cup. If you insist on someone giving from an empty cup, the results can be a mess.

it also helps if you are not able to get out, to allow him out. Go on a fishing weekend. camping weekend. Race car weekend with the boys. Go visit his own family, garden, volunteer, or do things that just generally help him relax and release. its hard to give give give and give.

I was a champion at taking, until my husband taught me how to give back. ASK him what you can do to help him relax or unwind. Dont jump him when he comes through the door. I am NOT saying to not talk to him, but allowing him time to at least get through the door helps. I used to panic till he got home, and then I just wanted to jump at him as he came through the door. I had waited so long, and he was finally here! it took time, and patience, but it works.

I hope you do well.
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