it's a very odd sort of feeling.
As if my feets aren't touching the ground.....
Nor, my anything can touch anything!

It's ALL left up to God!
This is No Carnival Ride!
(And, I hate those)

So then,
What might I do?
I did think about ending it all. I won't lie to ya'll, my good friends!
Of course I thought that!

But, it just couldn't work!
No how, No Way!

I must live, according to the "Code".
Do it right.
If not, I'm a total royal F*** up!
(sorry for that).

Yet, it's true!

Perhaps, God wants me to see and understand what it's like to have "nothing".

I don't think, I'd be much different....
I've given it much thought.

I worked "mightily" for my home, and children, and business's.
Yet, the only thing left, is my home.
Why shouldn't I lose that too?

My Brother, the family thief, who stole my father blind, and all I did for dad,
wimply refuses to help me.
My step mother on her death bed, whom he stole from also, has told me ALL the facts, and I've really reamed him with them, he refuses to see the truth.
OK.
That's fine.
My pain psychiatrists, have told me, over and over again, that I was "taught, or patterned" to just give".
OK, still feels good to me.
Yet my bro won't believe it, older sis is dead.
So What?
We all will die.

That Brother won't help, (and he's recently become a paraplegic) with an awesome wife, or , fool, whatever,
If she and her family knew what he really did, it would spin his world upside down. Yet, I cannot do that to him.
I just can't.

While he denies me, and holds Dad's and my cash.

So, I may end up where many of us do.
no place to live (even though my home is paid for),
and, many worse things....

I truly believe in this one truth,

What "Comes Round, Goes Round".


I Truly, Truly want to thank you all, for you kind words here, and your PM"s!!!

Please, Keep them coming,
and I will keep ya''ll
up to date on this evil, lied about divorce thing....


Love to Ya'll!

Pete

Hugs!

xo