Hey bro, sounds like you got pounded, but im glad your not the type to take the easy way out. I totally identify with your situation, although the way you would lose is different, it is still losing everything.

What I do have to share might sound cheesy, but it happened for me. When I first realized that I could not work any longer, my future looked very bleak and scared the cr*p out of me.

I had a ranch with 2 homes, a couple of car payments, 6 kids to feed, with a wife that thought shopping was therapy for everything including a headache. Over the next 5 years I lost or sold everything I owned. Credit companies were after me, banks wouldnt give me a bank account, lost the houses, cars repossessed, the whole world was crumbling around me.

Unbelievably my wife hung in there like the trooper I always hoped she would be, but everything else was gone. I did have one thing that kept me going, and that was my faith in a higher power that has everything under control.

I know there is this higher power because I found a rental house, but didnt have the money to rent it. The next day a check arrived from the state for something I over payed. I had my rental, but zero income

Making a long story short, the lord seen me through the worst 5 years of my life, not saying he saved me from the grief and heartache, but I am still in this rental. I was 3 months behind on the rent on 3 different occasions, for over 4 moths at a time, and the landlord for some reason let me stay. She evicted several other tenants, but not me. A miracle to me.

Every time there was a need for money or there would be dire consequences, the money would show up from out of the blue, and always about how much I needed. I had my power shut off many times before, but not during this 5 years, including up to this day. I guess I had little faith or was tryin to hard on my own power back then.

Sure if I let the things going on around me get to me, I would have taken the easy way out. I just gave everything to god because there was no way I was going to do anything about the circumstances.

He is faithful when we can trust him to take care of us. I am living proof.

I will be prayin for ya bro, and the advice in this thread sounds like some good advice