I've been up since 4 a.m. today as ever since I've seen the guy I have the crush on, Bobby, I have been getting up super early. When I spoke with my friend, Phyllis, this morning I could tell she was unhappy with the converation on Bobby cause she got me off the phone real quick. She told me to get Bobby's phone number to give to her. Then she said when she gets his number she'll get get him to take up both out to eat. I told her if I go out with Bobby it will just be him and I. She didn't say anything for the longest time and I didn't say anyting either cause i was waiting for her to respond. After a long period of silence she finally told me that she guessed if her and Bobby go out she'll go out alone with him too. I told her I suppose so. When I talked to our friend Nancy after that I told Nancy what was said between Phyllis and I. Nancy said she didn't know that Phyllis liked Bobby. Then Nancy said that she didn't think that Bobby liked anyone and he was not worth messing up my friendship with Phyllis.

Well, when I went into the restuarant where I met Bobby this afternoon Nancy, her friend, and Bobby's good friend Elizabeth was all sitting at the corner table. Nancy asked me to pull up a chair so I did. I could not stop starring at Bobby and I became very nervous not really knowing why I was so nervous. The nervous feeling stayed with me for a while even after I got home. Bobby mentioned right away that he was not feeling well yesterday and went to the emergency room. He got out of the hospital today so I'm sure he told me that maybe to let me know that's why he didn't call me yet. When I told him my phone number would change when I moved he perked up and looked at me quizzically like oh yea what is it but he didn't say anything.

You know, this Bobby thing I think has me nervous cause I am falling for him and he is unknown terriotory. It scares me to get involved. I can still remember the hurt and pain with my ex and getting into a new relationship is scary. What if I get hurt again? What if I hurt him?

Barbara