Dear Bobby,

i dont' know if you are titrating up on the zoloft or what, but it takes one week at each dosage in the titration period, to reach steady state for that dosage. then, once you reach target dose it takes 2-6 weeks to see an effect.

I just want to mention, since you are actually switching between two SSRIs, that your 5-HT receptors are probably a little "confused" right now... and relate that, when i was tapering from Zoloft, especially towards the end, i was having disturbed sleep and recurring/repetitive dreams, often with troubling content. i am hoping the dreaming and the sleep issues will subside in at most a few weeks as your brain gets used to not having the Prozac. I figure that wasn't tapered since it is long acting enough it sort of self-tapers... plus you were adding the Zoloft.

i have not had problems generally starting an SSRI. but they are different molecules... replacing one with the other does not completely exclude the possibility of some withdrawal symptoms... and the changes in sleep quality/dreams could be a type of withdrawal. remember that SSRIs also help with obsessive/repetitive thinking, so imo, i could easily see a link between withdrawal from an SSRI and the emergence of dreams with repetitive qualities.

you are facing a lot of difficulties and in a way are in a vicious cycle... the same one i am in but probably deeper. we don't get exercise which would get us in shape therefore we fatigue more easily, therefore we move around less and less and get less and less in shape etc. i would say that if you are not going out for now because it is too hard, that is ok. if you can get outside - even on your terrace, just to get some fresh air, that would be good.

but for "exercise" what about just doing little things in your apartment for now. things that do tire you but only a little bit at a time. even walking from room to room - it might sound stupid, and it might feel stupid, but you will be moving, and yet in a "safe" environment where when you are too tired you can sit. maybe try to do that once a day, as a ritual. or find some other light physical activity that you can do at home where you don't have to deal with both the fatigue and the being outside with stimuli you are not up to facing.

i hope the Soloft works for you. it works well for me. i stopped it because i didn't need it and now changed to Wellbutrin because it only just became available where i live (the Olde Worlde, ya know... ). i did better on Wellbutrin when i had taken it before... it is my AD of choice, but Zoloft is close second. another reason to change for me was that after 5 years on the same antidepressant, the brain gets a bit too used to it and it is less effective.

i am glad you are reading. you are keeping your mind active, and that is good. you are aware of needing to get your body more active and in a way you are working on that. don't be too hard on yourself. do try the doing little things... standing up... allowing yourself to feel tired doing stuff for a while... but not too long... and then allow yourself to rest.

as for the being bipolar... well... that is only one part of you. you have many gifts. you gave me a wonderful gift of insight with your post the other day, just for example.

now, when your mind wanders onto those "bad decisions" you made... and you feel angry at being bipolar ... i think it might be useful to try to move your mind. give yourself 5 minutes to have angry thoughts and then focus on something else. if you need to, make a list of things to think about when you need to change focus. yes, that's right, i'm giving you homework now! consider that can be one of the physical things because i want you to sit up at a table and write out that list. that takes more physical effort than lying down. heck, i should know. i get tired just sitting in the armchair watching murder she wrote reruns.

the thing is, our meds won't get rid of our fatigue totally - that is partly a by-product of long term depression and unfortunately we have to tackle it behaviorally. that is why i made the other suggestions.

but i really hope the med gives you some benefit soon and that you stop having the cruddy dreams. in the past when i have been titrating zoloft i have sometimes had lucid dreams... and beautiful ones... not on regular basis, and mostly with steep increases. but perhaps your dream quality will morph into a more positive one - those dreams were splendid. i knew i was dreaming and i could choose to do special stuff like (my favorite) fly around or change my surroundings at will.

sending you all the good vibes i can muster.

love you lots.

~ waves ~