Thanks for the compassion, Mark. I have struggled for years to get the correct "view"...I have always only cared about being in the present moment and allowing life to unfold, despite the medication errors and my fight to be free. It was a shock to see that the Department of Health and Human Services acknowledged my disability yet still did not know how to deal with me in terms of services. I only come openly with this information now because I believe that the state and it's employees have been affected by my case and it is beneficial to keep up to date on my situation in regards to "disability rights." They are very important. And by the state acknowledging them even superficially, I have made a greater case for my not being crazy. But, rather, having a drug-related injury - that is linked to brain impairment at the very least. See, I don't want to be "crazy." That is my political view. On that token I got the chance to finally argue the medication in court with a cup of water. All a person has to do is argue the medication if it is not right. This was my real victory because now it was well-known that I had a disability rights issue that was either being taken care of or not.

Now as I look back which is not too far along I realize it is those victories that are what make up the bulk of success. But I know at the same time that living in the present moment is what is most difficult.

I am a rare case. But there are many people who don't want to take their medication and think they have to or else they will die.

It comes down to what is most appropriate in the community and how to affect recognition of the truth in action. Sometimes truth reveals itself despite what the Court says good or bad. That all comes down to living in the present moment.

It takes compassion to not believe in medication and also to take it. This is living in the present moment. By doing this I have never made a grandiose scheme out of things. I did recognize however that there is a time and place to make decisions and what happens when you do.

You have to be able to stand up to the compettition. Like my fortune cookie said, "don't be afraid of compettition."

This seems like a strange story but I hold the power as far as my treatment is concerned. I knew that when I convinced my Doctor I didn't have Schizophrenia that I would have to use business to counter the false diagnosis'.

Now I am battling for the medication I need while living in the present moment.

I also knew that I would have to fight hard against oppression in the community. They recognized my plight as "religious". That is a big step since part of my business is related to that as far as the mystery of my injury is concerned at least. I have special rights.

In the hospital I met a Scientologist, he asked "have you ever been to our Church?" I was saying prayers for him as he was being hammered with injections and screaming one morning when no one would hear because they were asleep. Luckily I was up saying prayers about medication and I prayed for him. He came out after I was finished and saw them walk out with a tub of needles from my room. He's my only witness for the harsh treatment I had. I told the nurse I was assaulted.

So on the one hand, we have the case where what we say in the hospital is concerned mainly with therapy. On the other hand we have the court, which protects our rights. Fortunately a law had just been signed where there needed to be two court examiners. If not for that law I would not have had such good luck. We think of hospitals as treatment centers sometimes but really they are the highest place you can go to get protection in cases of malpractice. They also serve that function.

As you can tell I am very excited about this. It is great news. It blows the myths of medicine and hospitals out of the water. The man whom I mentioned witnessed my treatment won in court. He was still getting injected though. That is like what happened with me in my case: I was getting injected and then they moved me to the long term unit where I was forced to take medication which is highly unethical.

You can tell I am very disturbed by this I'm sure. It causes me a lot of stress and pollution.

Just being on medication hurts my feelings.

But this board forum should be about my injury not my feelings, right? I don't even regard my injury as real. It was almost "dissapeared". Just like me.

Im an endangered species or something.

No one wants to hear about me. And thats the same way it was in the hospital.

I don't do this for fame.

But if I don't fulfill my vows then who will?

No matter if they try to torture you.

No matter if they injure you.

No matter if they inject you.

No matter if they beat you.

You decide where your life will go.
I am not one of those people who hide behind a mental illness.
In fact, if drugs are in the equation I don't have a real mental illness.
Drugs negate that.

I ask you, sincerely, how can I have drugs that are good for me and bad for me at the same time? Drugs help one person and torture or kill another.

If someone causes you harm, don't harm them back. Then you will be a real man.

Not because it sounds tough or it is the right thing to do. But because this action will only create a cycle of misery that was begun long before the first "incident." You must never give in.

If you can do this then you are truly a civilized person. Its not about your religion or anything in the end I tell you. Its not about what kind of money you have. Its whether you give in. If you never give up, then no one can hurt you.

This is the real meaning of healing.

You protect others and you protect yourself.

It's like martial arts.

The Masters never move. Maybe they have a mental illness?

No, they just understand in the moment that there is only one moment.

Then they never make a mistake.

So I might make a move, but I'm not moving.

I'm sticking with what I know.

Not being too rigid...

so I can break in half if I have to.

Or I can bend in the breeze.

Surely the wind only makes me stronger, wouldn't you agree?

Medications? Bring em on! Injections? Let's discuss them!

insanity? Sure.

Now I can finally get something accomplished.

If it wasn't for my craziness I wouldn't be not-crazy.

I went crazy after 30 days

Thats my story.

I signed something I shouldn't have.

Then I argued my way to hell and out of heaven.

See, either way you're gonna die.

I didn't have to.

Compassion.