I have my ticket in hand for AZ, to be with my sis as she has the pancreatic cancer surgery on 7/13/09. I am very anxious..it is real now.

I saw my psychologist today, and the visit seemed odd for me.Discussion over the issues with PM doc's office and their incompetence via scripts filled in timely manner and other stuff. The last statement he made to me was to try to have a good time while in AZ.
Also, I will need to book an appt. with him once I get back from AZ.

Maybe it is because I am going on this journey alone, without hubby at my side. The last time I flew was in 1992, for my Mom's funeral. I traveled alone, from N.H., to OK, that time too.

I will be in AZ and will witness my sis in her hospital bed, after the pancreatic cancer surgery. I will be strong and help her in any way I can.

I have issues with this hospital scenario, as my father had colon cancer, and I pretty much lived at the hospital for 6 months, dressing his open wounds, as they would not heal because of the cancer. Dad didn't want anyone else,(nurses)to clean out his wounds, because he thought I did it better and it meant less pain for him. He was cut hip to hip, open wound, and I cleaned the wound and made sure the tubes stayed unblocked. The tubes functioned as my Dad's evacuation system.
It was a difficult time and to this day, I can't believe I was able to do it!
Dad died in the hospital,1983.

I see PM doc on 7/7/09, off to AZ on 7/9/09,sis surgery on 7/13/09. I am to return home 7/25/09. I know that my sis' situation is not my Dad's situation...I am just having difficulty processing this truth.

Why can't I just let it go...Can I have a good time in AZ this trip? Thanks for letting me vent.