First of all, just let the test go. You probably did ok on automatic pilot. Anyway, you will find out.

As for the proctor, i think sometimes even when we are well-meaning, we say things that do not really help the other person, given where they are at.

No-one is lucky to have cancer, in my opinion. Any kind of cancer. I mean, let's call a spade a spade.

Even if it's the "least troublesome" cancer... yes, is IS still cancer, and it IS scary. It is easy for me to predict statistically that you're gonna be ok. But if i had cancer, i know i would be scared. So i think that's totally normal. Let it out. You have EVERY RIGHT.

About these mixed feelings of lucky/unlucky.... what if we say, you have been unlucky and while, sure, you might have been more unlucky, that is not your concern. You have had a seriously upsetting diagnosis and require extensive treatment and follow up. Anyone telling you there is no need to be upset just doesn't get it, imho.

Do not compare yourself to women with "worse" forms of cancer. You are living your life not theirs. You are living your pain. Cry the tears that need to be cried. It is natural. Feel the fear that is natural.

Then, perhaps, mitigate that fear with a pinch of reasoning about the specifics of your case, and the type of cancer, to help yourself be optimistic and courageous through the treatment process.

I am afraid this well-meaning post might make you feel worse. I hope not.

I just wish it weren't happening. Then, there would be no need to be upset. But ... it is. Hold on to yourself, dear, and hold on to us.



~ waves ~ with warm thoughts and healing energy