Quote:
Originally Posted by Breezy55
 How could RSD not make us emotional and not change our lives. I always think about the way I was before I got this ugly and crul dieases. I was always on the go doing my nursing work,hiking,camping,downhill sking.(sp?) Anything that had to do with the outdoors! Now I am on SSDI and I do not like it. Sometimes without thinking some of my very close friends say (well some of us have to work!) It makes me so made. After I had worked for over 25 years as a nurse. How do they think I feel? Like I wanted to get RSD,ya right. Yes I do cry, then I do try to think about the people that have worse situations then I do. I do have big time problems trying to fall asleep! I have been to a sleep lab where I spent the whole night there,just to find out I have what is called (sleep misperception state) Basically it is when you think you are not sleeping and you really are more than you think you are. However I am only sleeping only 4-maybe 5 hours a night.The pain wakes me up most of the time,or my emotional state. Love To All By the way this was a great thread! Breezy55 |
At the risk of being a downer;
I mostly go from one negative emotion to another. These negative emotions are closely correlated with the pain but some also come when pain is low or absent altogether. When I feel the pain before the negativity I'm depressed and when I feel the negativity before the pain I feel guilty like it's all my fault. This is an embarrassing condition and I'm always feeling guilty about not working or not beimng able to do much (which is the leading cause of depression).
Anti-depressants give me all sorts of trouble but I don't think I could take them even if they didn't because they just paint a fake smile on my face and make me feel worse. Lexapro is a little better but I don't tolerate it well. When I can suppress the pain and the depression sometimes the paranoia will flare up. This is really just another type of pain; a sort of mental anguish.
I need to keep busy but it has to be something that doesn't require rapt attention or the pain will sneak up on me like lion. Of course physical activity is pretty limited. A little bit of overdoing it will cause a two or three day excursion.
It's been especially tough in the evenings lately because of extreme boredom.