I for one am so glad you are finally crying....and that in a strange way you are finally taking care of yourself. It might be a new beginning and maybe you will start learning to be more moderate and forgiving of yourself. You treat yourself ruthlessly. If you give others the impression that you can walk on water, they come to expect it. If you start giving them the more accurate impression that you can't, all the better. Remember you are a role model for your children and you don't want to create a hard act to follow.
KEEP ON CRYING and thank goodness you are having tears come out...they are poisons coming out of your body. You are wonderful, brave, and everything else special but you don't need to be perfect.
Bobby