Dear Pam,

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time stabilizing.

Actually, sometimes even after we get meds that work, it takes further adjustment in our lives before we make a big leap forward.

Am i comfortable? Moodwise etc... not right now, no, but i have been before. Comfortable with myself... ehhh... i think i was a few times when i was younger, but i thought you were referring to mood/state... anyway i have answered both.

I share Beth's surprise that Zyprexa is helping your pain issues, as well as her concern regarding diabetes. Zyprexa's link with diabetes is more direct than through weight gain. The underlying mechanisms involved can cause BOTH weight gain AND diabetes. Zyprexa has a direct effect on the beta cells in the pancreas... therein lies the problem.

About the computer, I am rather bad. And since i replaced my laptop, i got one which happens to emit even "whiter" light (probably more blue and more UV in it). Now, my shades do "happen" to block more blue and violet parts of the spectrum, indeed i use them when i have migraines as that is the most triggering part of the spectrum for me. But then i cannot tell apart certain colors on the computer

If you have shades which block little enough blue to still make this distinction (AND block UV) that sounds good. And ... using them some of the time is better than none of the time!

I do think it is best to put away the computer a good while before you go to bed and find some other activity that does not stimulate you. quiet repetitive activities like crochet can work (don't know if your hands hurt though) and i find reading can help me get sleepy... but it depends on what i read. You would need to choose an activity that works for you.

I think you need to hang in there, and keep on doing what you are doing. Keep posting and venting here. Keep an eye on your weight and get regular labs (blood and urine) for sugar levels and triglycerides to catch any trends early. You might also ask your doctor about alternatives to Zyprexa since you are paying out of pocket.

Have you ever tried Depakote? If not, that could be effective... it often helps people with unusual pattern bipolar. With Depakote however, I would caution against using the generic and rather encourage using the Depakote Brand name enteric coated 24-hour release tablets to avoid stomach trouble. By the way, do you know what Bipolar Type you are - or better yet know the numeric code of your diagnosis?

I must congratulate you for making all the efforts you are. These are some of the lifestyle changes i was talking about... but it will take time to see benefit.

Sleep hygiene is a very important aspect of living which can dramatically improve things, for instance.

What is great is you are trying! That is at best difficult when we are not feeling up to par.

So, if nothing else, give yourself a lot of credit! I DO! And it will pay off, regardless whether you need to change meds in the future.

Good luck and look forward to hearing back.



~ waves ~