Sharman,
I'm sorry you are having to struggle with this decision. Please don't let fear of losing your job push you into more than you can handle now. If your doctor says you aren't ready you probably aren't.

I have several times over the years thought I was good enough to go to work, only to make everything worse and prolong my recovery. When you are home doing little or nothing, you do feel like you can work. But are you at home doing something for 8 hrs. at a time with just a one hour break for lunch?

If anything, a part time arrangement would be best, but I doubt if you would be able to sustain that for any length of time - and once you go back it's very dissappointing to find that you need to be off again - both to you and your employer and co-workers.

I'd suggest talking to your doctor, asking for his honest opinion about how much he thinks you could tolerate WITHOUT jepardizing your recovery! No job or material object is worth crashing to the point of not being able to function at all - I have found that out the hard way, even though I am now back to work. This time, I waited beyond when I first thought I might be able to do it, and tested myself a little first.

Whatever you do, we'll be here for support. Just please don't let your heart overrule your head - and it sounds to me like your head is telling you that you're not there yet.

Take care.