BLUE, I SEE YOUR SIGNS. I know you need a change of situation and possibly a friend. I will be your friend. I am from Big Spring, TX and am 59/F. I have only an 85 y/o father and a brother that I didn't love enough when he was growing up, so that now he is returning the favor. Both are in Oklahome. I.e. I have no one. I see your signs. What troubles you? What might be changed? Do you have a friend or family member? Death is an unknown, and according to many preachers, not necessarily a pleasant one. Not that I am preaching. I am REACHING - for you! billie bluecat