Originally Posted by MelodyL

Okay!!!! Back again.

Friend is still drinking. Her son is still drinking. blah blah.

However, something new happened on Saturday.

We live in different states so I couldn't be there.

They did an intervention on my friend. She's 58. Who did the intervention? He husband, the alcoholic son, and some other friends.

She phoned me later in the evening and said "I just had my intervention".

I had no idea what she was talking about.

Then she said her son "gave it to her in spades". I replied "but he's an alcoholic, HE CAN DO INTERVENTIONS??"

She said "apparently so".

So she explained how everybody told her they were concerned and about her behavior when she drinks, etc. etc.

Then she told me "I really learned something tonight, I learned that they really care for me, and I'm going to do something about this".

I said "are you going to go into detox and then into rehab?" and she said "Yes, I defninitely will do this".

Tonight she called me and we were talking and I said "so what's up? are you doing what you said you were going to do?"

And she hits me with "well, I never said I would do it, only I would do it when I felt I was ready to do it'.

I knew immediately that IT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

She then said "oh for god's sake, what's wrong with a couple of belts at night?"

I gave it to her (didn't lose my temper), but I reminded her of the intervention and what everybody said, and what SHE HERSELF told me.

The she hit me with "well, when you were fat, no one could talk to you" "you weren't ready".

I then replied "this has nothing to do with me".

She then gave all sorts of excuses, so I said "I have to go now".


then she tried calling me two more times (I was on another phone call), and I then returned her call.

She was crying and pleading for me not to abandon her.

I said 'You have got to be kidding, you make promises, you say things, then you rationalize what you do". She then got defensive and I put it simply.

"People cared enough about you to stage an intervention. You said you understood that you have a problem, and that you are going for help, then you turn the whole thing around and try and blame everyone else".

I then said "I have to go and cook".

Here's my dilemma.

I know where she is going with this. She's NOT GOING TO GET HELP.

She drank last night. She told me so. I knew she would.

She is now saying things like "so what's the big deal if I do a couple of belts at night"???

Would someone please tell me how I am supposed to react to this? Because I haven't got a clue.

If she calls me, I'm not going to bring up anything. But if she starts slurring and is obviously plastered, I'm going to say "I have to go".

And if she is NOT PLASTERED, do I just continue to maintain a normal friendship with her?

Because this is not NORMAL.

I really don't know what to do. Her family got involved, the alcoholic son got involved (I'm still trying to wrap my head around this).

Please, I need to know the correct thing to do when she calls me.

Am I to say "sorry can't speak to you until you get clean and sober".

I don't know if I have the right to do this, (would being a good friend call for me to do this?")

What happened tonight has never happened before.

It's like a cross roads.

Anyone else ever have this happen? I'm sure it has happened to some of you.

I'd like to know what YOU think a friend should do.

Thanks much

Melody