Hi Billie:

Well, she still drinks every night. I don't talk to her at night anymore. I don't even phone her. She phones me. She is very lonely since her son moved out. And yes, he is still drinking. Even with his pancreas problems.

And she is still drinking her wine. Every evening.

But a very odd thing happened yesterday. I have been busy for two days and I didn't know my phone was off the hook. So if anyone phoned me it went directly to my Verizon voicemail.

Last night around 6 p.m. I noticed that my phone was indeed off the hook and I said "Alan, I bet people have been trying to get me". I picked up the receiver, heard the beep beep beep (that tells me I have voice mail messages) and sure enough there were 4 or 5 messages from her with a worry in her voice saying "Melody, are you all right, where are you, I'm calling a friend and we are coming over, I don't know what to do, WHERE ARE YOU?"" She lives in another state like I said in previous posts.

I looked at Alan and said "Oh my goodness, what is wrong with her, why is she so dependant and worried, can't I have my own life for 2 days??"

He said "you better have a talk with her".

I had to go out and I told him "If she calls (and I knew she would), just pick up the phone and say "Hi, the phone was off the hook, we didn't know it, she went out for a bit, she'll call you back".

(Oh, 3 or so years ago), she couldn't get me (phone off the hook again), and when she finally got me, she was crying and said "I called the police, and told them that I can't reach my two elderly friends". I looked at the phone and said: "ELDERLY???ELDERLY???"

Then (this is 3 years ago), while I was on the phone with her, I could hear helicopter noises on her end of the phone and I said "what on earth is that?" and she said: "oh my god, the cops made a mistake and they are circling MY house instead of yours".

I said "Don't you ever do this again, don't send any cops to my house, are you crazy?" And this never happened again.

WELL!!! when I came home last night at 7:30 p.m. I phoned her and said "What is wrong with you, I'm fine, why are you so worried".

She kept saying "I was thinking of you all day long, I was so worried, I called my friend Shirley and we were going to drive into New York and go in front of your apartment until we saw you".

I said "Didn't you stop and think that MAYBE my phone was off the hook again, AND WHY DIDN'T YOU EMAIL ME? (She doesn't like to use her computer).

She said 'That's what Shirley told me, and I was going to have Shirley email you and if we didn't hear from you one more day, I was going to get her to drive me to your house in Brooklyn".

I see where this is all going. She is extremely needy and dependant on me. I get that. But I can't stand having to account for my whereabouts TO ANYONE.

I guess I should be happy that someone cares if I live or die, But honestly, to have her call her friends, and have her think of calling the cops, and have someone drive her to my home to check on me ...simply because she hasn't spoken to me for one day and one half, is absolutely ridiculous.

I have no idea if this behavior is linked to her drinking.

Can someone please clarify this for me.?

Much appreciated.

Melody

P.S. And I know about ALANON and all the other programs because I went to Gamanon meetings when we found out my son was a gambler.

Saved my sanity.

Never gave him a dime after that. I knew not to enable.