Ten year mark...that's hard ckepi, especially if you haven't come to "grips" with those old guilt feelings. I think the most important thing you can do for yourself is to remember the Sam had a life. The way he died is only a small part of the person that was Sam.
People move on...I don't believe they forget people they cared about but suicide is an "uncomfortable" subject...and a lot of people just don't "get it".
I'd like to hear about your Sam.