thankyou for all the kind and encouraging words.

Im not as courageous as so many I see here by reading their posts.

Ive gone about my life always taking for granted the things I rely on most will always be the same way, just a little more achy and as I get old, and add some pounds, a little harder to do.

When all this started, and I was back in clinics for cat scans of my thymus, MRIs of the brain, it started to bring back horrible memories when I had cancer and multiple back surgeries. The endless doctors appts, the nothing to look foward too except more testing and then some, I used to get so depressed.
Its been years.

So many of you here have such beautiful postitive outlooks, bright personalities, overlooking the horrible hand we've been dealt(and I onlly have ocular version now).
Its not as easy for me to accept, being relatively healthy for 55 years, just a few short setbacks.
Its not easy for me to read about some gentleman being happy to be able to cut down a tree and then paying the price, or some young woman not having the strength to put barrettes in her daughters hair.
Its heart wrenching to me, I cant help it.
Im in this club now, a club I didnt want to join.

I dont know anyone(well I found out someone I know has it) who has this disease, non of my relatives know anyone with this disease, my doctor has no patients with this disease, my eye doctor says he once had a patient years and years ago with this, my friends and family dont understand why Im just not in the mood to go out at night and have to deal with the uncomfortness. They tell me I dont look sick, they will drive, we will take you home if your not feeling well..........they just dont get it.
I was so uncomfortable in the beginning, the mestinon torturing me, I just didnt want to have to be running looking for rest rooms every 10 minutes, something its hard to explain to someone.

Im sorry for the rant.

You are a good bunch of strong willed and courageous people.(and pleasent)

I wish remission for all of you, as soon as possible, so we can all go out to the beach and toss a frisbee around in the surf.