Melody - I feel that t he dependency behavior as well as the compusive behavior are linked to the drinking, but that is not to say that one caused the other. The same personality characteristics of excessive dependency and compulsive behaviors, also depression, anxiety, paranoia, ect. have some tendency to concur together with alcohol/drug abuse. Also, they say that when a person with a predisposition for alcoholism begins to drink, their emotional maturity stops. For most of us [I'm 19 years sober], this began in adolescence, and even after sobering up, I'm still trying to grow up and to stop calling the police when I can't locate my aging Dad. But he's 85 and usually at home, so there is some basis. Besides in his small town, the only officer knows Dad and the usual places to search, but still. I recall that I started drinking to ease my childhood depression and anxiety. She probably has little control over what she is doing, rediculous or otherwise. How is her husband connected? Is she dependent on him, too. Sounds like it's his place to inact an intervention. Is she intoxicated or drinking when she talks to you? You might try, "I love you and I'm fine but I'm going to stop talking to you when you're drinking. Even if she calls the police, they'll get used to it. They deal with such things all the time. Try Alonon. I'm been basically homebound since I retired. [After I quit drinking, I substituted workaholism], so Alynon might still be able to offer the best answers. billie