Blue, you are an extremely important person. You have helped so many through this forum. I, too, know the pain of loss of an important other. I know that time makes it better. I am somewhat confused about your relationship with "my guy". Was he just a friend or was he someone you had a more romantic relationship with? Did he talk to you about getting married or had you lost contact prior to this development? I am so sorry about your pain, and I identify closely with it. Due to my age and self-isolation, I have had to confront the fact that I will not have a significant relationship again, unless it is the unforeseen will of God! You are likely much younger than me, and I feel that your chances of having your own marriage are excellent. When that time comes, this pain will be only a distant memory. Thank You for sharing, as many of us have pain similar to yours, and when a much-respected person is able to talk about this, it is a help to us all. billie