Thread: Just can't do this anymore!
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Old 07-25-2009, 07:39 AM
hutch hutch is offline
Junior Member
  
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: I live in Pennsylvania
Posts: 57
10 yr Member
hutch hutch is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: I live in Pennsylvania
Posts: 57
10 yr Member
Heart depression
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jen29 View Post
Hey everyone,
It's been a while. I just need to let things out and I hope you don't mind. I am suffering from diverticulitis and then am depressed at the same time. I can't stand it anymore, I want OUT! I just can't keep living like this. I am very scared the docs are going to say it's all in my head. I just wonder if that makes them feel better when they can't find the answer?
My depression is getting worse each day that goes by. I just can't do this anymore, my head is saying I want out. I just don't know why I am even supposed to be here in the first place. I believe God has put me here to suffer. I have achieved that goal, I don't want any part of it anymore. I can't go on like this, it's way too HARD!
Maybe am being selfish, and maybe that's what I am. I am many other bad things too but don't want to push myself over the edge right now. I just feel like there is always something wrong with me, it's one thing or another, or then now it's both. Am sick of being sick.
Thanks for listening.
Jen
Hello Jen, My name is hutch and I am 49 years old. I have suffered from depression almost all my life--on and off (though mostly on). I also suffer from MANY health issues. I feel that depression by far is the most difficult to deal with out of all of them. I really do understand how hopeless you can feel when you are in the myst of it. I also understand how the mental health doctors and system work. To put it bluntly---it sucks! with that being said---there are good doctors out there and you MUST keep looking until you find someone that you feel comfortable with and you know are on your side. Believe me when I say there are some good doctors out there to help!!! You have to realize that you are worth it, and deserve the best care. It took me years to realize this about myself. I was not a very assertive person until I figured this out. Also, don't be so hard on yourself---this is not your fault--you did not ask for this. But as you know life is not a dress rehearsal, so you owe it to yourself to seek out the right doctor who can help you get your life back. Please take my word for it, finding the right doctor is well worth the effort. Take good care of yourself---I wish you all the best in your search for the right doctor for you. hutch
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