Hey guys!

So I had my thymectomy....Oddly, the day of the surgery, I was anxious to have it--almost excited! :S I guess it's one of those things where if you can't cry you need to laugh....In terms of the pre-op, it wasn't that interesting...The only thing that was kinda weird was when the anesthesic (sp.?) guy started 'connecting' my anesthesia line to my wrist....I remember starting to get very relaxed, and noticing that there were these massive bracelet-like bruises developing on my wrist...Just as I was about to ask why he was giving me bruise bracelets, I passed out...

When I woke up in the ICU, I was in some serious pain. I remember moaning and a nurse instructing me to 'press the button.' So I did. I started to feel better. Then, in the haze of my awakening, I heard one of my thoracic surgeons ask how I was doing. I said, 'okay, but was it a carcinoma?' (inappropriate timing of question, I know.). He said, "well, there were 'nodules' but we got everything out." I started crying ( (I was still very out of it). After that, nurses and the doctor were assuring me that everything would be okay...But I kept thinking about how he wouldn't deny that it was a carcinoma, and that 'nodules' meant that the tumor was worse than benign.

After all that commotion, I remember people visiting and me talking to them then passing out. During that night, I woke up every 20 mins., I think. I was tired, but wide-awake and stiff....

By the second day, I was more alert, but still slept most of the time...The third day, I was feeling better, but came down with some type of stomach flu. They thought it might be from the morphine drip, so they disconnected it...That was sorta bad...I couldn't quite get my pain management right after that, and therefore couldn't get much sleep...

The doc. really assured me that the tumor should be manageable, and that I shouldn't worry...He got everything and still isn't even sure I'll need radiation...But I'm still waiting for the biopsy results...I doubt it was a carcinoma, but I have a feeling that it's a different stage now, because it must have been spreading somewhere (I don't remember where the nodules were).

All in all, though, the doctors are really impressed with how well I'm healing. I've been walking around doing stuff since last Saturday (4-days after surgery, and the day I was let out). The scar I have looks like a cat scratch down my cleavedge. The only thing that looks kinda severe are the chest tube scars...but they should clear up...Oh, and my God, the heperin shot bruises are brutal! Looks like someone punched my arms all day...

But, oh my lord, does anyone have any advice about sleeping positions?? I still can't sleep right! I sleep on my side normally...I've been trying to the last few days, and am somewhat successful, but most of the time, wake up in pain....Sometimes, it almost sounds like my bones are grinding! :S

Oh yeah, thank you so much, guys, for your well-wishes! I think that day (the bulbar speech thread), I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, out of anxiety and all the negative feelings we get when we're sick! Things aren't that bad for me in terms of support! I realized that people are there for me more than I realized, and I am so thankful! and I am very thankful I found this forum and all of you! Thanks