thanks billie---- my precious david left me oct 16,2005. he was born on dec 25 so this is a real hard time for me around the holidays..yes the drs and the aide are at fault..but it was MY job to keep him safe..and i failed him..i failed myself...yes he is out of pain now..but it is my pain that gets worse..i know it is very selfish of me...i am so lost without him..my heart and soul have been damaged beyond repair..he was non-verbal so i was his voice.i could read his mind and know exactly what he wanted or needed..when hw was younger he had a fever of 104...i held him and his fever went away and made me very sick....we amazed everyone and his drs were stumped as they witnest it on several occasions...he was what made my life have meaning..the reason i was the one who adopted him...he brought so much light and meaning to my life..now i feel empty...can't replace him with anything or anybody else.. thanks for caring and letting me vent..can't see thru the teaars right now...bless you..linda