I was of the same mind, but I'm glad you said it first. That is the MO of the passive/aggressive. They don't confront you. They don't engage if you confront them. They just use all the gas in your car, and if you call him/her on it, "Oh, did I? Gee, so sorry! It won't happen again." Only it does. Or next time, they *accidentaly hack all your roses down.

"Well how was I supposed to know you don't cut them when they are full of flowers, in mid July?"

Yeah right. Like a 5 yr old doesn't know that.



That's the very definition of passive/aggressive behavior.

Ask me how I know - 25 yrs with one. They are like the jealous little dog who can't speak, and so she pees on the carpet to get revenge.

They are like the spiteful, spoiled children who doodle *I hate Mommy* because they've been sent to their room.

Sorry, but I think your friend is going to keep exhibiting these behaviors. Doing your laundry and accidently bleaching or shrinking things. Things will go missing, and she won't have a clue where they went if you ask her. If she makes some mistake, she will always have some great explaination, some justification.

Even you will feel it's you're fault - you are too sensitive. You must be. Everyone else thinks she's wonderful, don't they? She never says an unkind word in front of others, I would bet. She's charming and nice. So it must just be you....

You know, I really hope I'm wrong. But I saw myself in your post. 25 yrs + of *Why did he do that?* then thinking, *Why am I so sensitive* when he had some perfectly rational excuse.

I always thought it was me.

People who love you, real friends... they don't need all the excuses and rationalizations.