I have been through dozens of MDs that were dismissive, and rude, and closed their ears at the first sign of me participating in my own treatment. I LOVE LOVE LOVE Dartmouth. They have included me every step or drag of the way. I have been able to view my MRIs with them, and they explain them. They pull out every test and explain them, and help me understand them. I have been in many research studies, and helped many grad students who are doing papers on MS. I feel that they really do have MY best interest at heart, not just what the big pharma companies are pushing at them. I have been supported, and informed, and you cant beat that. After coming from the land of dismissive care, I am not about to give up on this crew. Even if I have to drive 2 hours to see them each time. one way.

The husband? Well, what can I say. hes a keeper. we survived breast cancer together, and he says MS isnt gonna stop us. He always says US. not me or she...US.

I have been asked to really think about why I dont want to take these drugs, and take it past the next step, or the obvious side effects. Even those who suffer side effects do so with a better attitude because they know what the drug is doing for them, and not just to them. I had to admit that taking this daily shot, reminds me daily that I have MS. The side effects from the shot are worse than the side effects from the disease, because I am not "actively" in a disease state. I am in remisson. its one thing to be in pain everyday and want that shot. or to see a lump and want that shot, but MS is one of those invisable diseases unless it has already damaged your system, and I am not suffering, so I think to myself..."do I really have MS?" or "I dont need this stuff unless MS has become a problem" or "My MS is mild compared to so many others. since I am so mild, I can skip all the stuff that is needed for those in the big boy lane of this disease." In effect, I am kidding myself. This disease is silent, and keeps doing damage even when you are not having symptoms. its only when it breaks through that crunchy layer of mylin and smacks directly into the nerve root that we show this disease. Just because my nerve root remains intact, doesnt mean MS isnt silently munching through my mylin right now!

I need to change my attitude, and get better at accepting the fact that I HAVE MS! and yes, my disease is active even if I am not in a flair. now where is that ice cream.