I am not criticizing how you handled the Coley touching somebody else's things, just pondering (since that seemed to be the trigger) if there was another way to handle that to head off the F or F. I don't know what the item was, but most likely Coley was being impulsive, touching it after the other kid had told him not to. (Coley knows he's supposed to control his impulses but isn't very successful at it yet, right?) But, i wonder if addressing Jacob could have diffused the situation: "Wow, Jacob, that looks really cool! Can I see that?" Would have taken the pressure off Coley and made Jacob feel good about sharing the "hallowed" item that Coley is not allowed to touch.

I know you weren't trying to make Coley feel bad...these things happen.
I completely sympathize with your "why can't I have one freaken normal parent/child event with him?" I have felt that way and said the same thing so, so many times...it was like I expected a footnote to show attribution to me!