I have lived with depression all of my life to the point that I have been suicidal sense I was old enough to remember. I have tried several times. There is not a day goes by that I donot want to kill myself or live.

I have seen 4 Physchitrist and 2 Physchologist and have been in councelling for 8 years weekly.

I have tried every med out there. I spent 2 years on Prozac and 1 year on zoloft and they made me even more suicidal. I signed myself into a mental institution and because they couldn't find a med that I could take they soon put me out. They said if I couldn't take meds then I could not get well and 2 Physchatrist have wanted to do ect's on me and told me that I would never get well if I don't have this done.

Every med that I have taken has made me worse or the side effects were so bad that I couldn't take them. The more I got into my system the worse the side effects have been.

I deal with every symptom that you have mentioned. 3 years ago I had to sign a living will because the Drs. were worried that I might try to kill myself. I have no doubt in my mind what I have been through and what I continue to go through today.

This is not something we thought of overnight. We have talked about going this route with the vns for the past 2 years. We had to wait until it was approved by the FDA.

I realized a long time ago that I would never get well from depression unless we did something drastic and this is what we have decided to do. I trust my Dr. and I fully intend to study on it more and do what I need to do to understand it but I honestly do see it as my answer and so does my Dr.

I have lived in hell for all of these years with this depression and a person has to walk in my shoes to know what I have been living with. Everyday is a challenge for me to keep from killing myself and there's not a day goes by that I want to die. If a person truly lives with depression the will know what I am talking about.

Thanks for the info. you have given me.

Ada