Dear LostMary,
I understand the whole in your heart and the longing to have been with Ernie under the tree when he passed...I , too love animals with all my heart and soul..
The only consolaton I was ever able to have when my beloved critters passed away was that I envisioned them finally at the 'rainbow bridge' where they will happily and freely be forever, prancing, dancing, barking, tails wagging, purring, everything our beloved animals friends love to do...
I know how you are feeling and I am sending you my empathy.
Please take care of yourself..
Hope4thebest xoxox