yeah ativan is a prescription...it's kinda for temporary relief (like i don't take it every day...it usually just holds me over for a couple hours). it makes me feel a bit stoned though so i don't like that so much. but right now that might be better than anything i'm feeling.

unfortunately i'm alone right now. i have a friend that isn't working, so i'm going to see if he wants to come over for a bit. i don't feel like going outside (i know i should force myself to...). i have all the windows open and the back balcony door open so that is helpful.

i can't believe these obsessive thoughts are invading my work again. i thought i had cleared them off my plate (well, i guess desk) for awhile. and i like my job. that's the hard part of this. i don't want to live in fear of my job...ESPECIALLY when i like it.

thanks for your responses. i'm SO glad you were online. what a god send.