A friend of mine was about killing herself trying to care for husband after his major stroke. He needed 24/7 care, completely dependant.

I told her not to feel guilty about putting him in a nursing home. She was not exactly qualified to do that sort of care, and it was really best for both of them. I knew she loved him and felt like she was abandoning him, but she was not doing either of them any favors, going on as they were.

None of her grown kids had said that to her. when she asked their opinions, they just said they didn't know what to do. She really needed to be relieved of duty, for someone to tell her it was okay not to have to keep this up.

She did end up putting him in the nursing home, and it was better for them both really. Instead of being dead tired form the care end of business, she could visit and just spend time with him, knowing he was safe, his medical needs met and all that. He was more relaxed because she was.

Not saying this is the answer for everyone. But she had no one to turn to. Not that her kids didn't care, they just did not know how to take care of him and did not know how to help her.

Not everyone is cut out for the job.