This is a long shot - but since you said it only happens at bedtime...could it be that she can't see (literally) when the lights are off? That might explain why she wants to 'touch' you (wants up on your bed), but then wants her routine too (let me down I want to go to 'my place'). Not to mention the anxiety.

I agree that putting her in 'her place' with an article that has your scent (after the lights are off) might be worth trying.

Pls. keep us posted. Our elder critters can be such a puzzle!