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Young Senior Elder Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
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Young Senior Elder Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 11,298
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Grief and Mourning After Suicide
Bereavement for the loss of a loved one is a complex and idiosyncratic experience, with each person mourning at his own pace and in his own way; yet the process is surprisingly uniform. Survivors of deaths due to natural causes, accident, homicide or suicide experience comparable phases of shock, disbelief, protest, disorganization, yearning, and, eventually, reorganization. Similar feelings of depression, grief, anger, anxiety, guilt, physical symptoms and emotional distress develop.
Clinical observatons, however, consistently confirm that the experience of surviving a loss to suicide is more difficult, more complicated, and more intense. Although many suicidal behaviors may precede a suicide, its suddenness will still shock. Death by suicide is frequently violent and bloody. Finding a loved one after a shot to the head, or having to cut down a hanging body may leave the family member with nightmares, severe anxiety, intrusive memories and other symptoms of post traumatic disorder. Feeling of abandonment and rejection are common in survivors who feel that the decedent willingly choose to separte, to leave behind loved ones and friends, to permanently and non-negotiably sunder bonds with spouse, parents, children and siblings. These feeling are hard to reconcile, and survivors may be left with persistent, troubling concerns.
Particularly the need to understand "why" drives survivors to search and review endlessly, hoping to find some logic in the act that will allow their feelings to be tolerated. In extreme cases, the need to find this answer may become an obsessional reoccupation that derails the bereavement process, while all too often death has made this answer inaccessible.
Norman L. Farberow, Ph.D.
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Lifesavers newsletter
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