To board/forum friends: I am aware that this board is for support and not about debate between different religious beliefs. But I was a "workaholic" before becoming disabled in 2008, at that point restarting church attendance, the selection guided by only the fact that I have an admired friend there. It was a wonderfully welcoming church, and I imagine that my paranoia contributed to some misunderstanding of sermons, etc. I have changed churches due to the fear that the idea of a punitive God gave me. It still continues to haunt me although my present church does not present this way. Guess I'm having trouple feeling sufficiently worthy. I hope I have not said anything untoward, but fear has considerably increased my depression, and I thought than any thoughts you might have on the matter would be most helpful. I want to believe in a loving God who recognizes what is in our hearts. I hope I did not ramble. I have found so much support in various boards of this forum, but this is a troublesome question that I have not, until today, had the nerve to bring up. Blessings on you all, and several of you who have posted today re living problems are in my prayers. Blessings and Gratitude - billie