I’m still feeling like a wet noodle and can't be upright for more than a few minutes at a time but at least I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel, #1 is over. I thought I had an idea of what chemo would be like but I was wrong.

I had to get a shot today to build up my white cells; I can’t remember what it was called, neupo something. She told me it would make me feel achy because it's stimulating the bone marrow and was she ever right. I’ve barely been able to get up from the sofa for a few minutes without feeling so weak. Hooper’s enjoying all the cuddles though.

I really thought I was a strong person and I thought that I could power through anything that I put my mind to, but now I know that strength really has nothing to do with it. It is an oversimplification to say that you can just decide you are going to beat cancer. It is hard-really hard. Harder than anything I have ever done and harder than anything that I ever plan to do again. I have to redefine my definition of strength because the one that I had is not enough.

As soon as I feel a bit better I’ll share how my day went. It was full of waiting, anxious moments and many tears. The chemo nurses were wonderful though and helped me see through.