Dear BJ,
Your feelings about this are going to go up and down and all around.

You don't have to be strong.
(I actually gave into my bipolar a long time ago. I know that is not the same thing as you are going through)

Don't be strong. Focus on being good enough to survive when you get to the other end of the treatment.

Focus on one day and one task and do what you can. You don't even have to be your best. Do what you can. "Can" is the part you need.

You need to be here with us at the end of this process and you will be.

(I hope some of this make sense.)

M.