Hey all,
I just want to ask a quick question cuz I don't want to take up a lot of you alls time. My legs have gotten worse as far as the pain goes it has gone from mm feet and lower legs to just above my knees now. My original injury was to my left hand which has been diagnosed with rsd from my left hand to my shoulder. I have the same pain and reactions in my right hand as well as my lower legs and feet. Like I said now the pain has moved to just above my knees and I have a hard time putting any sort of pressure on my legs and feet. It started yesterday just above the knees and I figured probably just a flare but it is the same today as yesterday. I am scared because I have not been diagnosed for my right hand nor my feet or legs yet. I am waiting for my atty. to tell me it is ok to see a doc. My authorized doc acts like he don't want to see me even though he is the one that finally diagnosed my rsd after 3 years of struggles. Now he is telling me that they don't deal with legs of feet. So I question what does he do when he treats other people with rsd and it spreads on them. I don't know anymore. I am so confused. Also my daughter and her boyfriend put my walker up for me today and told me to try that and see if it is any easier to walk with. I was so scared cuz I am not ready to see the reality of things that there is a chance I am getting worse. One good thing that came out of it is that I found out my daughter is not ashamed of me even when using the walker. I have not been out in public with it yet and I am scared to death. I feel like I am going to such an outcast and that things are going to be even more real. I don't want to feel that way. So I am really struggling with this whole walker idea. Has anyone else had to use a walker or felt like an outcast? Has anyone ever been afraid of the raeality of things. I know I have been fighting rsd since 2002, but everytime a new reality shows up especially one as big as this one it is so hard to accept myself and the reality. I am so afraid that people are going to look at me and laugh. Or maybe even not love me anymore. I am so scared of all this reality. I know a lot of you are thinking that this is no big deal but it is to me. I am still struggling with the idea of having this disease and now this. I am so afraid of losing all the ones I love and care about due to this. Please help me try to get over these fears?!
Sincerely,
Tracy
