Ann, I somehow missed this one, and you post is wonderful, as are the answers so far.

I was at Uni doing my (very late) degree in Art and Design, full time and with a 3 year old! My husband was in the middle of a breakdown, from which he never really recovered, and which was the precursor of the end of our relationship, which was a very slow freefall lasting several years. I was a very active and engaged full time mother, wife, student, gardener, artist, you name it!

I had looked after myself all my life, good quality food, not too much chemical input, plenty of exercise. My expectations were that I would go from university into work to bring in a second income - I did this but wound up being the sole provider, that I would grow old as parent and partner - I am still a parent, but on my own with it, and miss the man my partner was dreadfully, he is very changed and no longer in my life, or sadly in my son's life. I saw myself as having a very active life into old age, on the basis of having looked after myself. I now see this as having been a very naive assumption. I am fortunate in that I am still here, and still at this point mobile, of my closest friends there are several who are not here and several much more unwell than me. Most of all I think I had that immortal feel that you have when your life has not been challenged in any way......... I think I miss that most, the feeling of everything being possible...........

Lindy